Vibrato Short Story
Jul. 19th, 2022 09:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallowblueThe Wavelength of the Soul
Tsushimi Bunta
Nanase Tenn had a younger twin brother.
His name was Riku. He was an honest, kind, spoiled, cute kid. He had been born with a chronic illness, and Tenn treasured him very much.
When Riku couldn’t move, Tenn became his arms and legs for him, and when Riku was lonely, Tenn provided the most happiness that he could for him. He felt that was his duty, as the one who had been born with a healthy body.
Riku liked music. So, for Riku’s sake, Tenn learned all kinds of songs to sing for him. He even copied the dancers at their father’s restaurant and danced, too.
He would dance gently, so as not to kick up any dust. Childish songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star weren’t enough. He wanted to make Riku happier than that. He wanted to surprise him more than that.
Riku was always deeply moved, and his smile shone like a star.
“What did you think?”
“You were amazing! I want to hear more!”
Tenn laughed shyly and nodded. Tenn liked to be complimented by Riku. His little brother, who so often was coughing painfully, would smile so happily whenever he sang for him. Those moments made Tenn unbelievably happy, too.
“What did you think?”
“It was amazing! You’re so cool, Tenn-nii!”
Riku’s bright voice made Tenn’s heart as light as a paper airplane, and sent it flying to new heights.
One day, Tenn heard a story about twins on a special TV program.
“There are some cases wherein babies appear to be twins when inside the mother’s womb, but then only one baby is actually born. This is because one fetus has been absorbed within the womb.”
Tenn was shocked. He heard his mother’s voice approaching, and then, for some reason, she quickly turned the TV off. Tenn could hear his own heart racing faster and faster.
Those facts seemed so cruel to him.
Tenn was sure that Riku’s healthy body, which now coughed so often and easily, had been absorbed by him. That was why only he was healthy, but Riku was sick all the time.
The actual facts were that a twin fetus that stops growing within the womb is reabsorbed by the mother’s womb, but Tenn kept misunderstanding for some time. His legs that could run fast, his body that could jump high, his fingers that could be so nimble, and most of all, his voice that could ring out so clearly - they were all meant to be Riku’s. That’s what he had convinced himself.
Eventually, he began to think in this way.
When someone is happy, someone else is unhappy. When someone’s wish is granted, someone else’s wish cannot come true.
When he failed, someone else would succeed. His own strength was thanks to someone else’s weakness. In that case, just as much as he was loved, he should love others as well.
Just as much as others were kind to him, he would be kind as well.
Happiness wasn’t something to hold in your own arms and monopolize. It was something to return to others, like playing a game of catch. If you let go of it willingly, it would come flying right back to you.
And so, when Tenn’s surname became Kujou, he was on his way to having the job that suited him the best.
One in which he was beloved by others, and could love others - an idol.
X X X
The round light that fell upon the stage looked just like the full moon.
Bathed in the cheers that shook the whole concert hall, Kujou Tenn was dancing. The audience’s eyes were glued to the elegant and charming choreography.
“Let’s go! Stick with us till the end!”
Speaking into his microphone, Gaku’s voice was soon drowned out by the loud cheering. While sweating and continuing to dance, Tenn followed him with his eyes. Gaku’s silhouette appeared and disappeared within the yellow, red, and blue lights.
At the opposite end of Tenn’s vision, Ryuunosuke was moving his long limbs and dancing, too. His dance moves were bold, filled with vigor, and liberating. Their positions on the stage were far apart, so Tenn couldn’t see his face, but he had a feeling that Ryuunosuke was smiling.
From both sides of the stage, the two of them slowly approached Tenn. Tenn kept facing straight ahead of him, and as he sang, he stepped forward.
Their name was TRIGGER.
They were the brand new male idol group that everyone had heard of, and tonight, they were appearing in a charity concert with the top idols, Re:vale.
The brilliant stage lights weren’t the only things that they were carrying on their backs. The reputation of a major entertainment agency. The sales numbers of record companies. The trust of their sponsors. The expectations of the fans who loved them.
While carrying all of that, they stepped out into the light, where tens of thousands of gazes would fall upon them.
A great cheer rang out. Tenn didn’t have to turn around to know why. Ryuunosuke was showing off his dance steps, and Gaku was spinning perfectly.
Next, it was Tenn’s turn.
He couldn’t help the invincible smile that tugged on his lips.
On that night, he was so happy to be able to make the audience in front of him happy.
Just like how he made his little brother smile when he was young.
“TRIGGER will shoot straight through all of your hearts!”
Bringing his microphone up to his lips, Tenn cried out.
X X X
The wrap party for the charity concert was held in a small room at a local meeting hall.
It definitely wasn’t a fancy party, but Kujou Tenn found it comforting. Instead of using polished glasses, cheers were made with paper cups, and assorted lunch boxes had been catered and laid out on tables otherwise used for meetings. Instead of industry big-names trying to sell themselves, local celebrities were filled with love for their hometown as they smiled and thanked each other.
He had ended up leaving early, but even the cold and rational company president of Yaotome Productions had seemed to have a gentle expression on his face. This wasn’t a place for competing with each other, or a place to cut loose, but a place where people who had overcome misfortune together gathered.
At the very center of that place was Re:vale’s Momo.
Of his own volition, he was pouring a bottle of beer into a paper cup and pulling on someone’s arm while introducing them to someone else. Everyone surrounding him had a smile on their face. Even people who seemed to have just met Momo were being pulled in by his smile and cheerfully opening up to him.
(Wow.)
Tenn was honestly impressed. He understood completely why Momo had become a regular on variety programs at such a young age. Even just by observing him from the sidelines, he could tell that he had a genuine, trustworthy personality.
Tenn couldn’t let his senior be the only one serving others. He approached Momo, in order to pour drinks in his place. However, the thought, Maybe that would trouble him, sprung up from a corner of his mind. Perhaps this was Momo’s way of making more connections. In that case, it seemed likely that Tenn butting in would only get in his way.
Making sure not to interrupt him, Tenn handed Momo a paper cup.
“Momo-san, excellent work today. Please have a drink, too.”
Momo, who had been smiling at someone else, turned around to look at Tenn.
At that moment, Tenn was strangely nervous.
Momo stared at Tenn for less than a second. Tenn felt like, in that short moment, his own personality and intentions had been appraised and analyzed. Just for one second, under such a powerful gaze, he knew what it felt like to be a fish about to be sliced up.
At a later date, Momo had this to say.
“Sorry about that, it’s a habit I’ve had since back when I played soccer! You know, to figure out if a pass’ll go through, or if someone’s aware of their surroundings, or if they’re in good condition, you have to look at the other players, right? So, I think I was probably looking at you like that, then. …Huh? What was I trying to figure out? Well, if you were Re:vale’s enemy or not, obviously! I knew you were a good kid, though.”
On that day, Momo smiled warmly right away and held his cup out to Tenn.
“Thanks! You’re so considerate, Tenn!”
He then turned around completely to face Tenn. Seeing Momo get ready to talk to him, Tenn suddenly felt a bit sorry. As a brand new idol, he may have just forced his senior idol to pay attention to him.
That didn’t concern Momo, though. This was also something that Tenn didn’t learn until later, but Momo was already interested in TRIGGER.
“I was very happy to be able to participate in the same concert as you. You’re an amazing MC, Momo-san.”
“You’re not so bad yourself, Tenn. I guess Gaku’s the one who’s good at the crowd to join in, though, huh? The whole audience was so excited, it was great!”
“I agree.”
“TRIGGER was so cool. I’m sure you’ll just keep getting more and more popular!”
Momo smiled widely, as if he was glad from the bottom of his heart. Seeing such a warm smile, Tenn was sure once again that he was a good person. He was thrilled to have his own group complimented by such a person.
“Yes. Thank you so much.”
Someone else then called out to Momo, so as not to get in the way, Tenn quietly walked away. While trying to find Gaku and Ryuunosuke, his eyes fell upon Yuki.
Yuki was leaning against a wall in the corner of the room. Holding a paper plate in his hand, there was a blank expression on his face. Next to him, Re:vale’s manager was frantically bowing his head to him in apology.
That didn’t give Tenn a very good impression of him.
At a later date, Yuki had this to say.
“I was so hungry back then, but all the catering brought was fried food and sushi. I can’t eat fish or meat, you know. If Momo was there, he would’ve shared his vegetables with me, but he seemed busy… Okarin had gone to look for some kappa maki* for me, but they had run out. It was fine, though. I don’t really like kappa maki anyway…”
Tenn, who didn’t know about that then, braced himself as he approached Yuki. He couldn’t say hello to Momo without doing the same to Yuki, too. That’s why the serious Tenn felt that he had to do this.
“Excellent work today, Yuki-san.”
As Tenn came closer with a paper cup in hand, thinking he could pour a glass of beer for him, Yuki shook his head at him.
“I don’t want any.”
Tenn could feel his bad mood wash over his skin in a wave, and got nervous.
With what he would go on to learn about Yuki later, he could have inferred that he didn’t want to drink on an empty stomach and given him something to snack on, but at that time, all they were to each other was a popular idol and a newbie idol. Even Tenn felt embarrassed to be reacted to in this way, like he had asked for a handshake and been refused.
However, after a short silence, Yuki slowly opened his mouth to speak.
“Huh…? Are you allowed to drink, Tenn-kun?”
“No, I’m not drinking any alcohol.”
“Oh, huh.”
“I just poured a glass for Momo-san, so I thought I should do the same for you, too.”
“Did Momo tell you to come over here?”
“No, I decided to on my own… But Momo-san is such a cheerful and wonderful person.”
Suddenly, Yuki’s mood seemed to improve, and he smiled at Tenn.
“Right?”
Surprised by this sudden change in attitude, Tenn blinked confusedly as he nodded in agreement. He figured that Yuki, too, was not a bad person. He was able to be genuinely happy when his teammate was praised, after all.
Tenn was actually quite excited to have been able to experience Re:vale performing from so close up. They were wonderful people who he could respect.
He wanted to get even closer to their level.
He would make sure that they did.
“TRIGGER is great, too.”
Tenn found himself smiling at Yuki’s sudden words of praise.
He thought he probably looked proud, just like Yuki had.
Or maybe, he actually looked how he did when he smiled at his brother, when he was young.
– What did you think?
“Yes. TRIGGER is great.”
Tenn raised his head in pride, and went back to looking for his two tall teammates.
He found Gaku and Ryuunosuke chatting and laughing with some men he didn’t recognize.
Next to them, Anesagi was smiling politely. She must have been watching them to make sure that they didn’t drink too much.
However, their manager’s consideration would soon go to waste.
Re:vale would encourage them to drink even more, after all.
X X X
“Re:vale-san were such nice people.”
On the car ride back home, Gaku was speaking cheerfully.
No matter what situation he was in, there was a sense of nobility and splendor to Gaku. Regardless of his own will, he was a man who never seemed cheap. He had natural born charisma and a strong, indomitable gaze. Most people couldn’t help bracing themselves when they approached Yaotome Gaku.
Re:vale was unique in that respect. When Momo and Yuki met up with him, they talked to Gaku without holding back, and made him drink without holding back.
“I know, right? Momo-san said he likes Okinawa. He said he visits often.”
Ryuunosuke laughed in an unclear, childish voice. He was the one who had drank the most that night.
There was exasperation on Tenn’s face as he looked out the window. With the snappiness of a scripted variety program, Re:vale had asked about everything from Gaku and his father, to Ryuunosuke’s hometown, to the members of both their families, to their summer homework in elementary school.
Tenn was the only one who had successfully made use of his right to remain silent. Re:vale’s petite manager, who had been intimidated by Anesagi all night, had to be having a stomach ache by now. Unlike Yaotome Productions, Re:vale’s Okazaki Productions was still a small agency, after all.
“And so then… Tenn! Hey, Tenn! Are you even listening?!”
“I can hear you just fine. You were saying that Momo-san invited you to go drink with him another time, right?”
“Right, yeah. Isn’t he so nice? You can come, too, when you’re… What’s the word again? When you’re–“
“Legal.”
“Right, yeah, yeah. When you’re that.”
“Tenn, Momo-san said he likes Okinawa. He said he visits all the time.”
“Don’t you dare go drinking with them, you two! They seem dangerous to me. Don’t you agree, Tenn?”
“Tenn, and then, Momo-san said he likes Okinawa.”
“I do agree.”
“What?! Why?!”
“I wonder why… It must because the sea is so beautiful there. It makes me so happy that he likes it.”
“They were both nice people, right? You were being rude, Anesagi.”
“I was not being rude. You two are just too easily won over.”
“We won’t get run over**. It’s safe there!”
“Right, they’re safe!”
“I’m telling you that they’re dangerous!”
Tenn could feel an awkward sweat-drop slide down his forehead as he closed his eyes.
“Talk to me again once you’re sober.”
“We’re not drunk.”
“We’re not drunk, we’re not drunk.”
“You are!”
Tenn turned away from the two of them and let out a great sigh.
Gaku chuckled and, with a boastful look on his face, poked Tenn on the cheek.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Come on, you’re jealous, aren’t you?”
“Excuse you?”
“'Cause you can’t come drinking with us.”
“Don’t be stupid.”
Tenn replied instantly.
After that, he ignored everything else that the other two tried to say to him. While staying silent, he thought for a bit. Was he jealous?
He didn’t think that he was, but he did have a feeling of loss inside him that felt a bit like jealousy. What could that feeling truly be?
Plastered on the side of the office buildings outside the window was a billboard of his teammates’ faces. It was a photograph of Gaku’s powerful gaze and Ryuunosuke’s sexy smile.
At that moment, Tenn remembered Momo’s words.
TRIGGER is great.
Tenn must have wanted to hear him say things like that for a little longer.
He wanted both Momo and Yuki to praise Gaku and Ryuunosuke more and more.
It wasn’t as if he was singing for the sake of being complimented. Singing was a fact of life to Tenn. Even if he wasn’t praised at all, even if he faced harsh criticism, Tenn would continue to stand on the stage and sing for his own sake.
But he found himself wanting to hear such praise. Because Re:vale, and Gaku and Ryuunosuke, were even more wonderful than he had imagined they would be.
(Riku… There are so many amazing idols in Japan.)
He wondered what his little brother, who he was separated from, was doing at that very moment.
He probably knew about Re:vale. Did he know about TRIGGER?
He wondered what song he was listening to at that moment.
Was the happiness that he tossed out through microphones and through cameras reaching Riku, too?
“I hope we can keep making lots of people happy.”
Ryuunosuke whispered with a soft expression on his face. Tenn moved only his eyes to look at the side of his face, from which he could tell that he was about to fall asleep at any second.
“I had so much fun… Re:vale-san was cool, and nice, and Gaku and Tenn were so great, too, and the audience was cheering so much… My heart is so full of happiness. If I felt any happier, I might reach my limit and die.”
“What, of happiness poisoning?”
Gaku’s eyes looked kind as he smiled at him. He opened the car window to let in the fresh air, and slowly leaned back in his seat.
“I get you… I want to return this happiness as soon as I can. Let’s give back to our fans.”
“Yeah. I want to do our next concert already!”
Anesagi laughed bitterly at Ryuunosuke’s shout.
“Don’t be stupid. You have to rest right now.”
As the night wind blew through his hair, Tenn hid his own small smile.
The teammates he had here had the very same soul as he did.
That’s what it felt like.
By continuing to receive and give, they could keep running forever.
Just like the rushing wind.
X X X
The wind rushed through and brought the sound of waves into the concert hall of the Summer Island Music Festival.
Tenn had left the stage, and was wiping his sweat off with a towel as he looked at the camera monitor. IDOLiSH7, who had been singing that fateful song with them just moments ago, were now singing a song that was all their own.
After the atmosphere was heated up by such an unusual encore, they returned to the set list that had been planned. Gaku and Ryuunosuke had clearly not calmed down yet, and they were joining shoulders as they cheered out to IDOLiSH7.
On this midsummer night, Tenn narrowed his eyes as he watched Riku run circles around the stage.
– You’re amazing, Tenn-nii!
The Riku who had once praised Tenn from the confines of his bed was now bathing in the cheers of thousands of people.
Riku’s eyes had shown like stars as he gazed at Tenn; he was Tenn’s very first fan.
While looking up at Tenn, when had Riku started to want this for himself?
Wanting to sing just like him. Wanting to dance, and make someone else happy, just like him.
Why had Tenn never noticed that about him on his own?
Riku looked at something, and then smiled, as if he was completely at ease. At the other end of his gaze was surely Izumi Iori, or Nikaidou Yamato. The one who could touch Riku’s back and support him, or smile back at him, was not Tenn, but Ousaka Sougo, or Rokuya Nagi.
Tenn could respect Izumi Mitsuki, who waved passionately at their fans, or Yotsuba Tamaki, who continued to dance through his own sweat, in the same way Re:vale did. IDOLiSH7 is great, too. He could say that.
The summer night’s wind played a bittersweet tune on his heartstrings.
If he had made just one different decision, would that future have been his own?
When IDOLiSH7’s song ended, a great cheer rang out. The stage within the monitor faded to black, and Tenn came back to his senses.
(That could never happen… Riku’s body isn’t strong enough to handle being an idol.)
It wasn’t as if his illness had been completely cured. Stress, excessive exercise, fatigue, and sleep deprivation all went hand in hand with this job, and they all would destroy Riku’s body.
(It’s impossible for Riku.)
But perhaps that wasn’t the full extent of how he truly felt.
Even after leaving him behind, Tenn kept hoping that the happiness he was sending out would reach Riku as well. He took the happiness that had gathered in his heart and threw it. In that direction, he could see Riku's smile from his youth.
If that smile disappeared, what was Tenn supposed to do?
He couldn’t even imagine it.
“Good work!”
“Yeah! Good work!”
IDOLiSH7 had left the stage and were headed in TRIGGER’s direction. Gaku gave Izumi Iori a high-five. Ryuunosuke passed water bottles out to the other members.
When Tenn looked up, Riku was there.
And, with a brilliant smile on his face, he asked him a question.
“Tenn-nii, what did you think?!”
For one second, Tenn didn’t know what to say.
It felt like his childhood self had appeared right before him.
It wasn’t as if he couldn't get out of bed, but Tenn embraced that same lack of freedom and that same happiness, and smiled back gently.
Theirs was a job of being loved, and of loving people.
Tenn knew that this job suited Riku well, too.
“It was amazing. Riku, you’re so cool.”
As he smiled shyly, Riku seemed very happy.
That midsummer night was like a fleeting dream.
~
Translator’s notes:
*Kappa maki is a type of sushi roll that, in addition to rice and seaweed, only has cucumber in it.
**The word Anesagi says here that means “winning over” sounds the same as the word kaijuu, as in giant monsters like Godzilla. So Ryuu is actually saying that there aren’t any kaijuu in Okinawa, lol.
Tsushimi Bunta
Nanase Tenn had a younger twin brother.
His name was Riku. He was an honest, kind, spoiled, cute kid. He had been born with a chronic illness, and Tenn treasured him very much.
When Riku couldn’t move, Tenn became his arms and legs for him, and when Riku was lonely, Tenn provided the most happiness that he could for him. He felt that was his duty, as the one who had been born with a healthy body.
Riku liked music. So, for Riku’s sake, Tenn learned all kinds of songs to sing for him. He even copied the dancers at their father’s restaurant and danced, too.
He would dance gently, so as not to kick up any dust. Childish songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star weren’t enough. He wanted to make Riku happier than that. He wanted to surprise him more than that.
Riku was always deeply moved, and his smile shone like a star.
“What did you think?”
“You were amazing! I want to hear more!”
Tenn laughed shyly and nodded. Tenn liked to be complimented by Riku. His little brother, who so often was coughing painfully, would smile so happily whenever he sang for him. Those moments made Tenn unbelievably happy, too.
“What did you think?”
“It was amazing! You’re so cool, Tenn-nii!”
Riku’s bright voice made Tenn’s heart as light as a paper airplane, and sent it flying to new heights.
One day, Tenn heard a story about twins on a special TV program.
“There are some cases wherein babies appear to be twins when inside the mother’s womb, but then only one baby is actually born. This is because one fetus has been absorbed within the womb.”
Tenn was shocked. He heard his mother’s voice approaching, and then, for some reason, she quickly turned the TV off. Tenn could hear his own heart racing faster and faster.
Those facts seemed so cruel to him.
Tenn was sure that Riku’s healthy body, which now coughed so often and easily, had been absorbed by him. That was why only he was healthy, but Riku was sick all the time.
The actual facts were that a twin fetus that stops growing within the womb is reabsorbed by the mother’s womb, but Tenn kept misunderstanding for some time. His legs that could run fast, his body that could jump high, his fingers that could be so nimble, and most of all, his voice that could ring out so clearly - they were all meant to be Riku’s. That’s what he had convinced himself.
Eventually, he began to think in this way.
When someone is happy, someone else is unhappy. When someone’s wish is granted, someone else’s wish cannot come true.
When he failed, someone else would succeed. His own strength was thanks to someone else’s weakness. In that case, just as much as he was loved, he should love others as well.
Just as much as others were kind to him, he would be kind as well.
Happiness wasn’t something to hold in your own arms and monopolize. It was something to return to others, like playing a game of catch. If you let go of it willingly, it would come flying right back to you.
And so, when Tenn’s surname became Kujou, he was on his way to having the job that suited him the best.
One in which he was beloved by others, and could love others - an idol.
The round light that fell upon the stage looked just like the full moon.
Bathed in the cheers that shook the whole concert hall, Kujou Tenn was dancing. The audience’s eyes were glued to the elegant and charming choreography.
“Let’s go! Stick with us till the end!”
Speaking into his microphone, Gaku’s voice was soon drowned out by the loud cheering. While sweating and continuing to dance, Tenn followed him with his eyes. Gaku’s silhouette appeared and disappeared within the yellow, red, and blue lights.
At the opposite end of Tenn’s vision, Ryuunosuke was moving his long limbs and dancing, too. His dance moves were bold, filled with vigor, and liberating. Their positions on the stage were far apart, so Tenn couldn’t see his face, but he had a feeling that Ryuunosuke was smiling.
From both sides of the stage, the two of them slowly approached Tenn. Tenn kept facing straight ahead of him, and as he sang, he stepped forward.
Their name was TRIGGER.
They were the brand new male idol group that everyone had heard of, and tonight, they were appearing in a charity concert with the top idols, Re:vale.
The brilliant stage lights weren’t the only things that they were carrying on their backs. The reputation of a major entertainment agency. The sales numbers of record companies. The trust of their sponsors. The expectations of the fans who loved them.
While carrying all of that, they stepped out into the light, where tens of thousands of gazes would fall upon them.
A great cheer rang out. Tenn didn’t have to turn around to know why. Ryuunosuke was showing off his dance steps, and Gaku was spinning perfectly.
Next, it was Tenn’s turn.
He couldn’t help the invincible smile that tugged on his lips.
On that night, he was so happy to be able to make the audience in front of him happy.
Just like how he made his little brother smile when he was young.
“TRIGGER will shoot straight through all of your hearts!”
Bringing his microphone up to his lips, Tenn cried out.
The wrap party for the charity concert was held in a small room at a local meeting hall.
It definitely wasn’t a fancy party, but Kujou Tenn found it comforting. Instead of using polished glasses, cheers were made with paper cups, and assorted lunch boxes had been catered and laid out on tables otherwise used for meetings. Instead of industry big-names trying to sell themselves, local celebrities were filled with love for their hometown as they smiled and thanked each other.
He had ended up leaving early, but even the cold and rational company president of Yaotome Productions had seemed to have a gentle expression on his face. This wasn’t a place for competing with each other, or a place to cut loose, but a place where people who had overcome misfortune together gathered.
At the very center of that place was Re:vale’s Momo.
Of his own volition, he was pouring a bottle of beer into a paper cup and pulling on someone’s arm while introducing them to someone else. Everyone surrounding him had a smile on their face. Even people who seemed to have just met Momo were being pulled in by his smile and cheerfully opening up to him.
(Wow.)
Tenn was honestly impressed. He understood completely why Momo had become a regular on variety programs at such a young age. Even just by observing him from the sidelines, he could tell that he had a genuine, trustworthy personality.
Tenn couldn’t let his senior be the only one serving others. He approached Momo, in order to pour drinks in his place. However, the thought, Maybe that would trouble him, sprung up from a corner of his mind. Perhaps this was Momo’s way of making more connections. In that case, it seemed likely that Tenn butting in would only get in his way.
Making sure not to interrupt him, Tenn handed Momo a paper cup.
“Momo-san, excellent work today. Please have a drink, too.”
Momo, who had been smiling at someone else, turned around to look at Tenn.
At that moment, Tenn was strangely nervous.
Momo stared at Tenn for less than a second. Tenn felt like, in that short moment, his own personality and intentions had been appraised and analyzed. Just for one second, under such a powerful gaze, he knew what it felt like to be a fish about to be sliced up.
At a later date, Momo had this to say.
“Sorry about that, it’s a habit I’ve had since back when I played soccer! You know, to figure out if a pass’ll go through, or if someone’s aware of their surroundings, or if they’re in good condition, you have to look at the other players, right? So, I think I was probably looking at you like that, then. …Huh? What was I trying to figure out? Well, if you were Re:vale’s enemy or not, obviously! I knew you were a good kid, though.”
On that day, Momo smiled warmly right away and held his cup out to Tenn.
“Thanks! You’re so considerate, Tenn!”
He then turned around completely to face Tenn. Seeing Momo get ready to talk to him, Tenn suddenly felt a bit sorry. As a brand new idol, he may have just forced his senior idol to pay attention to him.
That didn’t concern Momo, though. This was also something that Tenn didn’t learn until later, but Momo was already interested in TRIGGER.
“I was very happy to be able to participate in the same concert as you. You’re an amazing MC, Momo-san.”
“You’re not so bad yourself, Tenn. I guess Gaku’s the one who’s good at the crowd to join in, though, huh? The whole audience was so excited, it was great!”
“I agree.”
“TRIGGER was so cool. I’m sure you’ll just keep getting more and more popular!”
Momo smiled widely, as if he was glad from the bottom of his heart. Seeing such a warm smile, Tenn was sure once again that he was a good person. He was thrilled to have his own group complimented by such a person.
“Yes. Thank you so much.”
Someone else then called out to Momo, so as not to get in the way, Tenn quietly walked away. While trying to find Gaku and Ryuunosuke, his eyes fell upon Yuki.
Yuki was leaning against a wall in the corner of the room. Holding a paper plate in his hand, there was a blank expression on his face. Next to him, Re:vale’s manager was frantically bowing his head to him in apology.
That didn’t give Tenn a very good impression of him.
At a later date, Yuki had this to say.
“I was so hungry back then, but all the catering brought was fried food and sushi. I can’t eat fish or meat, you know. If Momo was there, he would’ve shared his vegetables with me, but he seemed busy… Okarin had gone to look for some kappa maki* for me, but they had run out. It was fine, though. I don’t really like kappa maki anyway…”
Tenn, who didn’t know about that then, braced himself as he approached Yuki. He couldn’t say hello to Momo without doing the same to Yuki, too. That’s why the serious Tenn felt that he had to do this.
“Excellent work today, Yuki-san.”
As Tenn came closer with a paper cup in hand, thinking he could pour a glass of beer for him, Yuki shook his head at him.
“I don’t want any.”
Tenn could feel his bad mood wash over his skin in a wave, and got nervous.
With what he would go on to learn about Yuki later, he could have inferred that he didn’t want to drink on an empty stomach and given him something to snack on, but at that time, all they were to each other was a popular idol and a newbie idol. Even Tenn felt embarrassed to be reacted to in this way, like he had asked for a handshake and been refused.
However, after a short silence, Yuki slowly opened his mouth to speak.
“Huh…? Are you allowed to drink, Tenn-kun?”
“No, I’m not drinking any alcohol.”
“Oh, huh.”
“I just poured a glass for Momo-san, so I thought I should do the same for you, too.”
“Did Momo tell you to come over here?”
“No, I decided to on my own… But Momo-san is such a cheerful and wonderful person.”
Suddenly, Yuki’s mood seemed to improve, and he smiled at Tenn.
“Right?”
Surprised by this sudden change in attitude, Tenn blinked confusedly as he nodded in agreement. He figured that Yuki, too, was not a bad person. He was able to be genuinely happy when his teammate was praised, after all.
Tenn was actually quite excited to have been able to experience Re:vale performing from so close up. They were wonderful people who he could respect.
He wanted to get even closer to their level.
He would make sure that they did.
“TRIGGER is great, too.”
Tenn found himself smiling at Yuki’s sudden words of praise.
He thought he probably looked proud, just like Yuki had.
Or maybe, he actually looked how he did when he smiled at his brother, when he was young.
– What did you think?
“Yes. TRIGGER is great.”
Tenn raised his head in pride, and went back to looking for his two tall teammates.
He found Gaku and Ryuunosuke chatting and laughing with some men he didn’t recognize.
Next to them, Anesagi was smiling politely. She must have been watching them to make sure that they didn’t drink too much.
However, their manager’s consideration would soon go to waste.
Re:vale would encourage them to drink even more, after all.
“Re:vale-san were such nice people.”
On the car ride back home, Gaku was speaking cheerfully.
No matter what situation he was in, there was a sense of nobility and splendor to Gaku. Regardless of his own will, he was a man who never seemed cheap. He had natural born charisma and a strong, indomitable gaze. Most people couldn’t help bracing themselves when they approached Yaotome Gaku.
Re:vale was unique in that respect. When Momo and Yuki met up with him, they talked to Gaku without holding back, and made him drink without holding back.
“I know, right? Momo-san said he likes Okinawa. He said he visits often.”
Ryuunosuke laughed in an unclear, childish voice. He was the one who had drank the most that night.
There was exasperation on Tenn’s face as he looked out the window. With the snappiness of a scripted variety program, Re:vale had asked about everything from Gaku and his father, to Ryuunosuke’s hometown, to the members of both their families, to their summer homework in elementary school.
Tenn was the only one who had successfully made use of his right to remain silent. Re:vale’s petite manager, who had been intimidated by Anesagi all night, had to be having a stomach ache by now. Unlike Yaotome Productions, Re:vale’s Okazaki Productions was still a small agency, after all.
“And so then… Tenn! Hey, Tenn! Are you even listening?!”
“I can hear you just fine. You were saying that Momo-san invited you to go drink with him another time, right?”
“Right, yeah. Isn’t he so nice? You can come, too, when you’re… What’s the word again? When you’re–“
“Legal.”
“Right, yeah, yeah. When you’re that.”
“Tenn, Momo-san said he likes Okinawa. He said he visits all the time.”
“Don’t you dare go drinking with them, you two! They seem dangerous to me. Don’t you agree, Tenn?”
“Tenn, and then, Momo-san said he likes Okinawa.”
“I do agree.”
“What?! Why?!”
“I wonder why… It must because the sea is so beautiful there. It makes me so happy that he likes it.”
“They were both nice people, right? You were being rude, Anesagi.”
“I was not being rude. You two are just too easily won over.”
“We won’t get run over**. It’s safe there!”
“Right, they’re safe!”
“I’m telling you that they’re dangerous!”
Tenn could feel an awkward sweat-drop slide down his forehead as he closed his eyes.
“Talk to me again once you’re sober.”
“We’re not drunk.”
“We’re not drunk, we’re not drunk.”
“You are!”
Tenn turned away from the two of them and let out a great sigh.
Gaku chuckled and, with a boastful look on his face, poked Tenn on the cheek.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Come on, you’re jealous, aren’t you?”
“Excuse you?”
“'Cause you can’t come drinking with us.”
“Don’t be stupid.”
Tenn replied instantly.
After that, he ignored everything else that the other two tried to say to him. While staying silent, he thought for a bit. Was he jealous?
He didn’t think that he was, but he did have a feeling of loss inside him that felt a bit like jealousy. What could that feeling truly be?
Plastered on the side of the office buildings outside the window was a billboard of his teammates’ faces. It was a photograph of Gaku’s powerful gaze and Ryuunosuke’s sexy smile.
At that moment, Tenn remembered Momo’s words.
TRIGGER is great.
Tenn must have wanted to hear him say things like that for a little longer.
He wanted both Momo and Yuki to praise Gaku and Ryuunosuke more and more.
It wasn’t as if he was singing for the sake of being complimented. Singing was a fact of life to Tenn. Even if he wasn’t praised at all, even if he faced harsh criticism, Tenn would continue to stand on the stage and sing for his own sake.
But he found himself wanting to hear such praise. Because Re:vale, and Gaku and Ryuunosuke, were even more wonderful than he had imagined they would be.
(Riku… There are so many amazing idols in Japan.)
He wondered what his little brother, who he was separated from, was doing at that very moment.
He probably knew about Re:vale. Did he know about TRIGGER?
He wondered what song he was listening to at that moment.
Was the happiness that he tossed out through microphones and through cameras reaching Riku, too?
“I hope we can keep making lots of people happy.”
Ryuunosuke whispered with a soft expression on his face. Tenn moved only his eyes to look at the side of his face, from which he could tell that he was about to fall asleep at any second.
“I had so much fun… Re:vale-san was cool, and nice, and Gaku and Tenn were so great, too, and the audience was cheering so much… My heart is so full of happiness. If I felt any happier, I might reach my limit and die.”
“What, of happiness poisoning?”
Gaku’s eyes looked kind as he smiled at him. He opened the car window to let in the fresh air, and slowly leaned back in his seat.
“I get you… I want to return this happiness as soon as I can. Let’s give back to our fans.”
“Yeah. I want to do our next concert already!”
Anesagi laughed bitterly at Ryuunosuke’s shout.
“Don’t be stupid. You have to rest right now.”
As the night wind blew through his hair, Tenn hid his own small smile.
The teammates he had here had the very same soul as he did.
That’s what it felt like.
By continuing to receive and give, they could keep running forever.
Just like the rushing wind.
The wind rushed through and brought the sound of waves into the concert hall of the Summer Island Music Festival.
Tenn had left the stage, and was wiping his sweat off with a towel as he looked at the camera monitor. IDOLiSH7, who had been singing that fateful song with them just moments ago, were now singing a song that was all their own.
After the atmosphere was heated up by such an unusual encore, they returned to the set list that had been planned. Gaku and Ryuunosuke had clearly not calmed down yet, and they were joining shoulders as they cheered out to IDOLiSH7.
On this midsummer night, Tenn narrowed his eyes as he watched Riku run circles around the stage.
– You’re amazing, Tenn-nii!
The Riku who had once praised Tenn from the confines of his bed was now bathing in the cheers of thousands of people.
Riku’s eyes had shown like stars as he gazed at Tenn; he was Tenn’s very first fan.
While looking up at Tenn, when had Riku started to want this for himself?
Wanting to sing just like him. Wanting to dance, and make someone else happy, just like him.
Why had Tenn never noticed that about him on his own?
Riku looked at something, and then smiled, as if he was completely at ease. At the other end of his gaze was surely Izumi Iori, or Nikaidou Yamato. The one who could touch Riku’s back and support him, or smile back at him, was not Tenn, but Ousaka Sougo, or Rokuya Nagi.
Tenn could respect Izumi Mitsuki, who waved passionately at their fans, or Yotsuba Tamaki, who continued to dance through his own sweat, in the same way Re:vale did. IDOLiSH7 is great, too. He could say that.
The summer night’s wind played a bittersweet tune on his heartstrings.
If he had made just one different decision, would that future have been his own?
When IDOLiSH7’s song ended, a great cheer rang out. The stage within the monitor faded to black, and Tenn came back to his senses.
(That could never happen… Riku’s body isn’t strong enough to handle being an idol.)
It wasn’t as if his illness had been completely cured. Stress, excessive exercise, fatigue, and sleep deprivation all went hand in hand with this job, and they all would destroy Riku’s body.
(It’s impossible for Riku.)
But perhaps that wasn’t the full extent of how he truly felt.
Even after leaving him behind, Tenn kept hoping that the happiness he was sending out would reach Riku as well. He took the happiness that had gathered in his heart and threw it. In that direction, he could see Riku's smile from his youth.
If that smile disappeared, what was Tenn supposed to do?
He couldn’t even imagine it.
“Good work!”
“Yeah! Good work!”
IDOLiSH7 had left the stage and were headed in TRIGGER’s direction. Gaku gave Izumi Iori a high-five. Ryuunosuke passed water bottles out to the other members.
When Tenn looked up, Riku was there.
And, with a brilliant smile on his face, he asked him a question.
“Tenn-nii, what did you think?!”
For one second, Tenn didn’t know what to say.
It felt like his childhood self had appeared right before him.
It wasn’t as if he couldn't get out of bed, but Tenn embraced that same lack of freedom and that same happiness, and smiled back gently.
Theirs was a job of being loved, and of loving people.
Tenn knew that this job suited Riku well, too.
“It was amazing. Riku, you’re so cool.”
As he smiled shyly, Riku seemed very happy.
That midsummer night was like a fleeting dream.
Translator’s notes:
*Kappa maki is a type of sushi roll that, in addition to rice and seaweed, only has cucumber in it.
**The word Anesagi says here that means “winning over” sounds the same as the word kaijuu, as in giant monsters like Godzilla. So Ryuu is actually saying that there aren’t any kaijuu in Okinawa, lol.
